Relationships

Relationships: Will I Shoot My Shot?

By on February 13, 2018

I once bought an expensive wristwatch for a guy I really liked because I felt it would be a reference point when we finally date. Well, it never happened. It was my indirect way to shoot my shot though. *covers face* Loooong post alert! Hehehe

Valentine’s day is tomorrow, who is excited? Not me. I’ve been a crusher, crushing on different guys for different reasons. I’ve never crushed on a guy because of his looks except Cristiano Ronaldo who is my eternal crush. Lol.

You see…He’s honored. Lol!

Well, Rofiah inspired me to write this post after she posted ; Shoot your shot or nah?!

Urban Dictionary

I can go on about the many experiences I’ve had, liking a guy so much and for some reason think he ‘should’ ask me out.

There’s this sudden ‘weak affection’ that comes with wanting what you can’t have. It’s exciting and equally depressing. Sometimes he’s right underneath your nostrils teasing and taunting your emotions.

Like this

My mind seem to act silly the moment I’m interested in any guy. I’m suddenly soft. I smile to myself a lot and activate my stalker element. I’ll dedicate time to checking out his social media pages, go through every picture and every caption trying to connect some invisible dot. I can’t help myself, the less I see, the more my curiosity intensifies.

With all the stalking and scattered emotions, have I ever told a guy how I felt? Yes. Not once.

I never thought I would but I did. Some ended well, others didn’t. In a particular case, we laughed about it and he ended up being my friend.

The one that peppered me the most was the awkward incident of voicing out my feelings to a male friend I was close to. We’ve been friends for quite a while and like any girl, it once crossed my mind to date him. Until it got to a time that we became so close.

He was the one I told everything to and loved to hang out with, I guess that built the feelings. I became so worried because he was my friend. It was hard feeling that way.

At some point, I felt the feeling was mutual and all. Well, I thought long and hard about letting him know. I discouraged myself from doing that, I didn’t want to lose his friendship for any reason. One fateful day, I felt the rush of Adrenaline to tell him believing he would understand. Oh boy, it was so hard to type those words. The response I got was, ‘I’m going to sleep.’ Sleep???!

That was the last time we ever talked about it. He went to sleep and left me hanging. It was stupid!

What?!

I wished I never did and when we saw after a long time, I wished I kept my petty feelings to myself. Funny how I didn’t feel the same way later on and wondered what possessed me to even welcome such.

If there’s anything I’ve noticed about crushing on anyone, it’s temporary. If it lingers long enough, maybe its something else. At that moment, emotions are flying all over the place and you think your feelings can’t be wrong. Feelings are deceitful and derailing.

How do you tell someone you just want them in your life without sounding desperate? You’ve nursed this feeling so badly that you just want to explode. When you finally do, the dude goes mute or replies with, ‘Thank you, I’m glad you see at me that way…’ What about the, ‘You’re a very nice person though…’ Some guys even add it to their personality like a badge. You hear something like, ‘You know a lot of girls have crushed on me?’ So what?

Lifefrom25 crush

Poem from @Lifefrom25

On my WhatsApp status I asked the ladies on my contact, if they’ve taken Simi’s Joromi approach and the responses were quite interesting. There was a lady that said she ended up dating the guy for two years after she opened up about her feelings. Well, there was a case of a guy that never said anything to the lady till date.

What about the point where he chooses someone over you, and she happens to be your friend…arrrgh! Let’s not go over the jealousy that naturally builds and the mathematics of how he saw her and not you.

In my honest opinion, there’s no point telling a guy how you feel about him. It’s tough to let go of the feelings but give it time, it would definitely pass. Some guys that are friends to these ladies, tend to notice the fondness and refuse to act like they do.

I cherish my friendship with my male friends and I believe they do the same. I think its hard to have the same relationship you had as friends in a romantic relationship though.

There’s the liking the guy more than he likes you part. This makes it hard for the ladies if they decide to date. Naturally, she’ll put in more into the relationship and if he doesn’t like her enough things goes south.

Here is my comment on Rofiah’s blog;

Ah! I’m dancing right now 💃🏽 I’m glad I inspired you and your readers love it 😉
About shooting shot, Sweetheart I won’t (I’ll give full details in a post that’s coming up) I’ve crushed on so many guys (crush ambassador😆) and I tell myself that I need to shoot my shot but Mba I don’t and I always thank my stars for not doing it. Can you imagine the disappointment you would have felt when you eventually try and the guy is not worth such emotion? If he’s believes you’re the one, he won’t pass the ball around. He would aim for goal.
Eventually you would end up not liking him as much as you thought. ☺️ You just inspired me to rant my own 😁

I’ll like to know what you think, kindly drop your comments on any of these questions.

  • As a lady, would you shoot your shot and have you ever tried?
  • If you tried, what happened?
  • Do you think ladies should bother trying?
  • Guys, do you know when a lady is crushing on you and what do you expect her to do about it?
  • Guys, if a lady tells you how she feels about you, what do you think of her?

Thank you for reading!

Till I write to you again.

Lots of love,

Temitoria.

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11 Comments
  1. Reply

    Debbie

    February 15, 2018

    1) As a lady, would you shoot your shot and have you ever tried? …I would not shoot my shot and well, I tried it once last year.
    2) If you tried, what happened? …I ended up not liking the guy as I thought I would however, he was quite receptive of my feelings and we are still friends.
    3) Do you think ladies should bother trying?…No, please no.

    • Reply

      Temitoria

      February 15, 2018

      Thank you Debbie for taking time to answer the questions. Hope you stop by again.

  2. Reply

    Odawayi

    February 14, 2018

    Hahaha very interesting. I haven’t dared to tell any of the crush anything. Lemme be crushing from afar it’s safe that way. Ladies still could try.

    • Reply

      Temitoria

      February 14, 2018

      Lol! No wahala . Thanks for stopping by

  3. Reply

    Chykah

    February 13, 2018

    I can if I like you enough or if I think you would end up liking me enough. I haven’t ever tried.

    If you can’t stand staying friends, you should.

    • Reply

      Temitoria

      February 13, 2018

      Thanks for commenting Chykah

  4. Reply

    Sharon360

    February 13, 2018

    Nice write up! I can’t speak for all the guys out there but here’s my view:
    1a. Sometimes, I know when a babe is crushing on me; other times I don’t. I have crushed on numerous ladies too. It can be complicated because a lady who is a sanguine might have the ability to form close connections with people so much so that if you don’t see her with other guys/people, you’ll think she ‘likes’ you and both of you ‘share something’ when in actual fact she is just being a nice person and exhibiting her dominant temperament. It’s the same for some guys too.

    1b. If we all acted on every impulse, we’d be no better than animals.
    Here’s what I expect a ‘lady’ to do; if it’s a crush, KILL THAT FEELING! There’s this thing I call REVERSE AMPLIFICATION (yeah I couched it myself) Now for the time being, you know it’s a crush and nothing more (probably the way he smiles or his face/body etc. makes you feel all mushy); search long and hard for something you don’t like about him, something that could turn you off. Now amplify that ‘turn off’; focus on that ‘turn off’ until that is all you see when you look at him. Pretty soon, you’ll discover that he is just a normal human with flaws and that crush would just slowly fade away.
    This has worked for me several times.
    But if you love him ie. It goes deeper than just looks and some character traits then I think you should tell him (ie. Shoot your shot). You could ask him: ‘what if I told you I like you?’
    Gauge his reaction and know whether to proceed or lockup.

    2. I have been turned down by a girl before and it wasn’t a nice feeling albeit I was a still a child then. So I know it must be very hard on a lady if the guy doesn’t feel ‘that way’ about her, talkless of turning her down after she has shot her shot.
    It can be very uncomfortable for the guy as well because he might not want to hurt her feelings and still save the friendship.
    So I’d advice the guy to give her a soft landing; tell her you like her and would want to keep the friendship. Be cool like she didn’t just perform that act of bravery and be the best friend she has ever had.

    Finally, Ladies shooting your shot based on a crush is plain silliness but to do so out of love is BRAVERY. Not all brave people become the hero in real life though and that is the reality men face on a daily basis. Welcome to our world!

    • Reply

      Temitoria

      February 13, 2018

      Sharon oh! You went all out to break it down. Thank you for your sincerity. The reverse amplification is a major eye opener from your comment. Maybe I’ll try this sometime.
      Thanks once again, do visit again!

  5. Reply

    Youknowme

    February 13, 2018

    Hahaha…This is very interesting!! I did shoot my shot once and we dated for a long time….But babe, I ain’t shooting no shot no more, if it’s gonna hurt me no qualms…let Him come to me..lemme be miss “quoter of the bible” (he who finds a wife..) not her who finds a man…so i’m gonna prepare myself to being a wife and chillac till the man finds me. *winks*

    • Reply

      Temitoria

      February 13, 2018

      Valid points made. Thanks for stopping by

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Temitoria
Lagos Nigeria

Hi there! I'm a Blogger and a Digital Marketer. I'm tickled about creating content. I love music that puts me in a reflective mood. Plantain is bae. I'll like to one day overcome my fear of height by jumping off a plane. I love building relationships. This blog is where I have fun creating content that inspire lives. Stick around...

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